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The Six Million Dollar Mon
" " is the seventh episode of production season seven and season 9 (broadcast). Synopsis Hermes begin to feel useless for himself and decides to replace his organs with robotic parts. Plot Act I Hermes performs the annual performance review, evaluating each of the Planet Express employees whereby the lowest rated employee will be fired at sundown. Even though Hermes schemes to fire Zoidberg, the plan backfires. Amy, as the Professor's intern is proved useless, due to the Professor napping all day. Leela is proved useless and could teach Fry or Bender to fly the ship. She notes that Hermes is standing on their air hose and when Hermes releases the air, it pops Fry and Bender's suits, leaving Bender looking normal and Fry naked. Scruffy is pointed useless as well as Zoidberg, but in the end promptly fires himself due to his arrogance and stupidity. As a replacement, the Central Bureaucracy hires a robot named Mark 7G to perform the bureaucratic tasks for Planet Express. Zoidberg exclaims that he will miss Hermes despite all the torment and bullying he received because he thought that the insults from Hermes were jokes. Back at his home, Hermes says that the best part of being fired is that he will never have to see Zoidberg again. The family dines on curried goat, which is so spicy that a drop spilled burns through the table, various apartments (including through a drunk guy's belly) and all the way down to Robot Hell, where it burns through the head of the Robot Devil. Hermes feels sad and talks to his wife, LaBarbara, who tries to cheer him up as they go out for a walk. Out of nowhere, Roberto appears and tries to mug them for their skin, pointing several knives at them. Fortunately, URL and Smitty rescue them and sends Roberto to the Electromagnetic Chair (at one point Roberto remarked that the chair was "driving him sane"). Hermes talks to Bender and as they talk, Fry eavesdrops on their conversation, with a few distractions from Leela and Amy, who are naked in the shower. Later that night, Bender brings Hermes Yuri, who runs a black market selling used robotic and organic parts and is able to do body augmentation. Hermes gets a harpoon installed in his chest. Act II Hermes shows his new attachment, which impresses the crew and helps to get his job back. As Zoidberg greets Hermes, who starts to become mean to him again as always, Professor Farnsworth drops his dentures down in the sink and Bender shows how easily it could be retreived by an extending arm, convincing Hermes that he should get one. Hermes pays Yuri a visit again, replacing his left arm with a robotic extendable arm and shows off its numerous attachments after Farnsworth again drops his dentures into the insinkerator. Zoidberg asks for and takes Hermes' organic left arm. Back in his dumpster, Zoidberg is shown playing with a makeshift puppet of Hermes, fitting Hermes's old arm onto it. In bed that evening, Hermes breaks his glasses with his new robotic hand and decides to get a Cylon eye instead, surprising his wife LaBarbara. Hermes smooths it over and the two are about to make love, when LaBarbara realizes that Hermes also Cyloned his private area. LaBarbara makes him promise that he will not upgrade any further, but he crosses his robotic fingers behind his back. Soon after, Hermes breaks his promise to LaBarbara and has upgraded all of his body parts except for his brain. Zoidberg has been collecting Hermes'es old body parts, prompting Hermes to ask what he plans to do with them and Zoidberg replies "something wonderful". Zoidberg laments that the new and improved Hermes doesn't joke with him the way he used to. The Hermesbot couldn't care less what Zoidberg does at this point. It is revealed that Zoidberg has sewn all of Hermes' discarded parts together to create "Little Hermes", a puppet whom he uses in his comedy ventriloquist act where Little Hermes insults him much as Hermes did when he was organic. Everyone thinks Little Hermes is funny and Dr. Zoidberg is funny for the first time, but the now emotionless and arrogant Hermesbot finds it disgusting and decides to make the ultimate and completely suicidal decision: getting a robot brain, which will kill any remaining humanity. Hermes pays a visit to Yuri again, but this time, the surgeon refuses to fulfill Hermes' request, stating that he's out of his mind. Later, Hermes visits the robot cemetary together with Professor Farnsworth and Bender, where they stumble upon a fresh grave. The grave is then exhumed and Professor Farnsworth retrieves the brain circuit in it. As they leave, it is revealed that the grave belongs to the recently executed Roberto. Act III Back at Planet Express, Professor Farnsworth and the crew prepare for surgery, as Zoidberg performs a quick comedy session with Little Hermes. LaBarbara shows up with Dwight and demands that the surgery is stopped. Hermes points out that a robot brain would make him a better husband and father, but LaBarbara replies that he can't be a husband and father without a wife and son and commences divorce proceedings. Professor Farnsworth then gets emotional and refuses to perform the surgery because he knows that the procedure will kill Hermes. Hermesbot locks the crew inside the Planet Express building until they perform the brain swap. Zoidberg says he will do it, using Little Hermes'es fingers for dexterity. The rest of the crew wonder why Zoidberg wants to perform such a risky and suicidal surgery on Hermes, even with the threat of death by Hermesbot and Zoidberg answers them in a musical way. Amy asks if anyone else thinks that is it strange that Dr. Zoidberg can harmonize with himself while singing. The surgery is successful and LaBarbara is upset. As LaBarbara berates Dr. Zoidberg for performing the operation, Zoidberg puts Hermes' brain into Little Hermes and Hermes is once again fully human, apologizing to LaBarbara for breaking his promise to her. As they share a kiss together, Roberto awakens in Hermes' robot body. He captures Hermes and peels part of his skin with the robot arm's vegetable peeler attachment, then eats it. Roberto ends up melting completely due to Hermes' goat curry saturated skin, killing him instantly. LaBarbara then asks Hermes to apologize to Zoidberg for being a jerk to him and to thank him for saving Hermes and Labarbara's marriage. Hermes does so despite him stating that he hates Zoidberg so much and how they've never been friends. Zoidberg then decides to stand up to Hermes after hearing that both of them have "never been friends" and uses Hermes as a puppet again. He then says "Ouch ! what a zinger! Well I got one for you Mr. Not my friend conrad. You acted like a big jerk ! You were selfish and stupid and you don't deserve a wife like Labarbara or a friend like me". Everyone around the room then laughs and Zoidberg then leaves the place dancing to his "Monster Mash" spoof, much to the chagrin of Amy, who again, asks aloud whether anyone else is wierded out by Zoidberg harmonizing with himself as he sings. Category:Episodes Category:Season 7 Category:Hermes Episodes Category:Zoidberg Episodes